How To Handle A Breakup?

Love is the most beautiful feeling irrespective of it being romantic or not. A relationship that is based on love or on some attachment. No matter whether it was a 3-month relationship or a 3 year one, splitting up always leaves you heartbroken and it hurts and the reason may vary. At times breaking up remains the best option no matter how much it hurts, especially when it is a toxic relationship. While in some, despite not wanting a few relationships come to an end for a number of reasons. But above all, splitting up does bring pain and numbness.

There may arise a number of different thoughts post breakup, a sense of abandonment, fear of the future, disappointment and it all adds to your pain. And the intensity of pain differs and it even depends on what is your role in this break-up. Was it you who wanted to break up or who wanted to leave this relationship? But if you are here no matter what your role was, you are finding it hard to cope up with it and you want tips to handle your break-up.

Feel it to heal it:

Different kinds of feelings will accompany you after your breakup, you may try hard to escape it but by doing so it is not going to be healed. In fact, it will be suppressed and will later come out in a more harmful way. Feel it, feel the pain because it is the first step to healing.

Express it:

Bottled-up or suppressed feelings do more harm than we can imagine. It will stop you from moving past it and you will be stuck with it, to it. Sadness can be handled better when we express it, if you are unable to share it with someone, write it but make sure you express your feelings, your pain. The best way is to talk to someone you trust or take help from a therapist. But make sure your feelings are expressed as this is another step towards healing.

Self-love and self-care:

A person who practices both can easily overcome heartbreak. They love themselves enough to make sure that nothing can hurt them to the extent that they are losing their sense of self. And post heartbreak this is very important. Love yourself enough to move away from anything that is giving you endless pain and suffering. Take care of yourself enough that you don’t turn to an unhealthy lifestyle just to cope up with your heartbreak.

Do what you love:

Make sure to do things that will bring a smile to your face even in such situations. Exercise, increase the endorphins and serotonin level, eat oatmeal, sunbathe, create art or do what makes you happy. When you are busy being productive there won’t be any space for negative thoughts. Be busy bringing happiness to your soul, do what you always wanted but couldn’t do till date. Spend this time for your own happiness and it will add to your healing process.

Practice gratitude:

Don’t focus on the things that aren’t there, focus on things that are still there. The selfless love of your close ones, the unending love of your family, your own love for yourself. Learn to practice gratitude and it will make you feel better than you focusing on the void that will make you feel miserable.

Practice love and compassion:

If you are a giver, the pain accumulates from the love that you couldn’t give. All that love that is still in you and you are unable to pour it, so pour it to the people who need it. Show love and compassion, give your unending love to those who desperately need it, practice selfless acts and see how it brings a smile to your face and gives you a sense of peace.

Give time to heal:

Healing takes time, a lot of time and you need to give time to yourself. The process can be slow and on some days, you may feel a sudden pain in your chest, those memories striking in your mind and you find yourself in tears. All these are part of the healing process, it depends on you as to how you take it, whether to succumb in that situation or to beat it and come up as a stronger being. It may take weeks, months, or even years but it will heal, all you need to do is give time to it.

No matter what you read, what advice you get, in the end, it is you who will take the decision to heal. And it can be done only when you make yourself ready for it. Take a firm decision to heal and healing isn’t far. You will heal.

If you are finding it very difficult to cope with your heartbreak and need help, contact a therapist or a psychologist.

Recommending Psychologists and Therapists are:

1. Life Coach Steffi Prasad - Psychologist & Therapists - Utopia Life Coach in Siliguri, West Bengal, India.

2. Khusboo Tomar - Psychologist: Centre for Forensic & Clinical Psychology