Gaslighting is an act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their own reality. A person will try to convince you that your thoughts, memories, perception of reality are wrong and what they are saying is the truth. It can take place in both personal and professional relationships to take control and gain power.
Signs of gaslighting can be:
Actions not matching words.
Hearing only lies.
Finding yourself apologizing most of the time.
Denying their actions.
Telling you that you are too sensitive.
These are the signs of gaslighting but make sure that you don’t misunderstand it.
It may happen that at times some signs may seem similar but it may not be gaslighting, some may be firm about their perspectives and despite presenting the fact, they may not listen to you, but they may not manipulate you. And at times, some people may gaslight you without them being knowing. So try to understand it and make it clear before you jump to any conclusion.
Gaslighting can be very dangerous, it may make you lost or you even lose yourself. Gaslighting if pushed too far may make its victim question their sanity. Don’t let anyone take away your confidence or take control over you. Here are some ways that utopia life coach has come up with to deal with gaslighting.
Give time to yourself:
Take some time before taking action or reacting to a situation. Anger, frustration, and fear are valid but they should not mislead you to any conclusion directly. So be calm as it may even help you to focus on the situation and find solutions.
Try voice recording or taking pictures so that when they try changing the facts or deny something you can have the recording to prove them wrong.
Be it phone calls or messages, pictures, try storing it in someplace where the abuser can't reach and provide them with the pieces of evidence when they lie or deflect. In order to save your sanity, you need to collect and store pieces of evidence.
Be confident and unshakeable:
Gaslighting can only work when you are confused and their behavior shakes you but if you show that their behavior does not affect you, they may stop trying. If you are confident about your version, they may think that it is not worth struggling to, so be confident about your version of the story and don’t move from it.
It may not have a direct effect on gaslighting but self-care can help you to make a difference by improving your state of mind.
Involve others, take support from your close ones. It may help you to prove that you are not going crazy or losing your memory. Involving others and taking their support can save you.
Resist from any argument:
By resisting to argue, you are protecting yourself and even helping yourself from taking control over the situation. You may have pieces of evidence but these shreds of evidence may not stop them from lying or doing the same and in fact, they may try to retaliate or destroy those pieces of evidence. It will be better if you end the conversation instead of getting into a conflict with them.
Talk to a therapist:
Taking the help of a therapist can really help you to deal with the situation. You can contact our psychologist at www.steffiprasad.com and take help.